Sunday, February 25, 2007

Oscar Meyer

I know it's been a long while between blogs but the Oscars brought me back! The Boredom! The Boredom! I am now watching the Italian musician who won a special award talking in Italian with Clint Eastwood trying to translate. Pleeze!!

This whole show is embarrassing, without any pizzaz, silly, self congratulating inside baseball for the industry and Ellen stinks! Sorry, because I like her but not for this. Jerry Seinfeld's two minutes were funnier than she has been all night and are probably serving as an audition for next year. Give him the job! I love Philobus as a dance troup but they are doing little more than shadow handpuppets behind this screen...oh wait, Ellen actually did handpuppets thinking it was cute. It is in kindergarten. The endless compilations: writers tearing paper out of typewriters, (yes, it's nice they honor writers and I was one of them but let's watch paint dry next year),showing every foreign film ever made,little featurettes of ridiculous things like sound "performers" making noises...what were the Producers thinking?

It is now after eleven and nothing interesting has happened except that Alan Arkin won the award for best supporting which probably should have gone to Djimon Honseau but was to have gone to Eddie Murphy. I am thrilled for Jennifer Hudson but Beyonce is not a good enough actress to fake being happy for her. Pan's Labyrinth was a huge disappointment to me though it seems to have won a ton of technical awards. And excuse me, yes Helen Mirren is a great actress but constantly being referred to as so hot, so sexy...Huh? I guess if women over 50 get naked enough...I am now tearing my clothes off...but just from frustration.

Jack Nicholson looks like Daddy Warbucks, Faye Dunaway looks embalmed, Meryl Streep, a fab actress, looks like she is going to do fortune telling after the evening is over. And when oh Lord, when will it be over?
And I know Ellen does not like to wear skirts but how about silky flowing pants...what's with the corduroy AND TENNIES! OK, OK, it's velveteen. Stop me before I kill again...I can't take it anymore.

Good night and good luck..yes George Clooney is still gorgeous. me.


AxelJump said...

Susan, you got it right about the awfulness of the Oscars telecast. In such an orgy of self-congratulation and ego-adoration, you really need the acid of a Johnny Carson or a Billy Crystal to cut through the saccharine. Ellen is just too nice for this job. Yes - Seinfeld for '08! (Actually, he could probably do quite well in the Democratic primaries.)

Helen Mirren really is totally hot, but not because she has the bod to wear that dress. It's because she's a grownup woman; in technical terms, a mensch. There's nothing hotter than that. The sexiest part of the evening was her acceptance speech, in which she was gracious and civilized and self-possessed (as opposed to self-obsessed.) What a contrast with the mawkish confessional gushings of most of the American winners! Please! Tell it to your therapist!

susan said...

maybe i'm just jealous that Helen has a great husband!ss

AxelJump said...

Be hopeful. At one point she didn't.

AnneD said...

Oh boy -- Jack as Daddy Warbucks!!! You nailed that one, Susan.

I didn't mind the Oscars so much. I actually enjoyed the film clips about writers, and Ellen was gently amusing (although admittedly not a ball of fire up there). I enjoyed seeing those ladies who looked absolutely fabulous (Reese W, JLo, Forrest's wife, and yes the omnipresent Helen Mirren -- the dress she wore was so flattering). I took guilty pleasure in mocking the ones who looked less than fabulous. (Yes, I'm talking to you, Meryl "Hippie" Streep - such a downgrade after seeing her in "Devil" with a terrific hairstyle and clothes. I also hated that huge awkward bow on Nicole Kidman's flame-red dress.)

Despite plentiful instructions in advance not to do so, most winners yanked "thank you" lists out of their pockets on stage. STOP THAT! Just say two original sentences from the heart and sit down.

Also, you winners who get all rapturous and start thanking God and/or Jesus for your trophy: There is a place to proclaim your faith, but I do not believe the Oscars stage is it.